Breaking up with Imaginary Bae

posted by Arielle -

There are women all over the world claiming Idris Elba as their husband. Those are the same women who saw this blog post and started judging me based off the title.

Let me explain, in my head I created for myself the perfect guy. He looks like Trey Songz and behaves like a Drake song, you know, super sweet, slight edge, he's meet my mother material. Now of course I'm aware no relationship is grade A perfect so me and fake bae argued but he always apologized for being wrong, WHICH IS DISTURBING! It's not only disturbing because let's face it arguing with a nonexistent lover is weird. It's disturbing because it's an unrealistic and unhealthy! Nobody is supposed to bend to your every desire especially at the expense of themselves which is exactly what I have been guilty of in every relationship! There has to be a healthy balance of give and take. Instead of embracing that I flipped the script and embodied my exes.

The reason I created the boyfriend in my mind was to figure out what I honestly wanted in a partner and here I am creating this unobtainable standard for my next possible mate. Don't get it twisted, you need a standard darling but you also need some wiggle room for real world adjustment. What man on this earth is going to actually apologize, take full blame and bring me flowers after every argument?  

This is why Fake Bae had to go! From a different angle I was sticking to my toxic cycle and imaginary bae was messing up my reality. While I'm not about to make an actual list in my head I've replaced "bae" with actual, factual, this is what I can bend on and this is non-negotiable standards. In essence when it's time for me to have a living and very real boyfriend I won't be caught up on some ridiculous fair-tale, day dream guy I created. He'd make a great Shondland character though   

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