In a world of "small circles" being the vibe are we really investing in friendships anymore. I use to think having no friends outside of my four sisters was the move. Lets cut the chase, it's not! Now I'm not saying rush out and befriend all the people you can. Nah fam, that'll get you in trouble ASAP. I am saying invest in quality friends.
I have a circle of women I'm growing with. They hold me accountable when I need to be and we've become each others sounding boards. Friday night we gathered to do some emotional work. Sitting around drinking wine, having soup, discussing our past and things that no longer served us we should let go. Each revelation was different but we all had one goal, supporting a gal pal in the art of letting go!
I know it sounds like some Waiting to Exhale ish but having a healthy friendship isn't just for the movies. Let's be honest, having consistent friends as an adult is hard. You have to intentionally reach out to each other or months will go by with life happening and no communication. Before you know it you've drifted and a second thought if not a third. Every morning somebody starts our group chats with a good morning text. We crack jokes and go about our day checking in through out the day. Sounds like I have a group of boyfriends right? This type of communication is not reserved for romantic relationships! In fact I have the same group messages with family members. EVERY relationship you have will require the same amount of work in order for it to stay healthy.
The best part about having a group of healthy friends is the lack of negativity. Now if I said we only ever got together with words of affirmation I'd be lying and our relationship would lack balance. Of course we share our disgusts about things. It's a safe space when we're having a bad moment to vent and get feedback. Not a single trauma stands a chance in this group of Sister Friends I've found.
The most important part is being as good to these women as they are to me. Reciprocation is a major key in any relationship. If all you ever do is demand and take eventually you'll be alone. Think about a bank account, it;s purpose is to keep your money. Well we all know what happens if we withdraw more money than we put in the account. Same goes for any human relationship, take more than you put in and it'll be in the negatives before you know it.
Loyalty isn't just comprised of sticking by somebody when times get tough. You also need to be a support system when things are good. I know my girls will celebrate when things are good but also pull me back from the dark side when things suck.
Cheers to navigating adult friendships that challenge and grow us in light and love without fear of confronting darkness.