Dumb Dummy Of The Week - Have A "Get Away" Plan


This might be the first time we've seen a criminal try a getaway that could be described as a "mediocre Aquaman impression."

There's a 44-year-old guy named Matthew Piercey from Palo Cedro, California. And he's been running a $35 million Ponzi scheme since 2015 . . . mainly by convincing people at his megachurch to "invest" with him and then pocketing the money.

On Monday, the FBI went to his house to arrest him. He took off in his pickup, drove to a lake, and then jumped in.

But he had a plan. Matthew had a Yamaha 350LI Underwater Submersible. That's a "seascooter" that basically drags you around underwater at about four miles-per-hour.

There were a few flaws in his plan, though. One, he jumped in a lake, so it wasn't like he could escape to freedom. Two, he didn't have breathing equipment, so he had to keep coming up for air. And three, the lake was REALLY cold.

He finally got out after 25 minutes and he was arrested for wire fraud, mail fraud, money laundering, and witness tampering. He's looking at up to 20 years in prison.